Free sample of my colouring pages

church colouring page

A new departure for my site: Colouring pages. They are designed to be printed out and coloured in by either adults or children. Perfect for giving to the church council to calm them before that important debate on removing the pews – or for any other purpose you can think of. There are five designs at the moment, but if they prove popular I will add more. You can see them all here.

The colouring images are for use by licence holders, but here’s a free sample that you can try. This is free for personal use. Print out a couple of copies for family members, but if you use this image with a larger group than that or at your church I’d ask you to buy a licence. I hope that’s fair – thank you!

Download the free sample high resolution image

Instructions for downloading the cartoon
In Google Chrome or Firefox you can save the cartoon onto your computer by right clicking on the link, then selecting ‘ Save Link As…’, choosing where you want to store the image on your computer, then clicking ‘Save’. In Internet Explorer right click on the link and select ‘Save Target As…’.

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Cartoon giveaway winners


Thank you to everyone who entered my cartoon giveaway for all of the ideas. I have printed them all on sheets of paper, and they will form the basis of a good number of my cartoons over the next few weeks and months.

The winners have been notified – there may be several people with the same name, so please check your email rather than relying on this list. But the winners were: Bradley Allen, Rural Vicar James, Karen Bowden, Juanita Hawthorne, Rachael Haylock, Elizabeth Rose, Anja, Mike Peatman, Ben, Chris, Jamie Cable, Claire Maxim, Adam, Andrew Openshaw, (12 winners, plus a couple of extras). A special additional prize went to Becky for supplying me with the idea I used in today’s Church Times.

The mystery prizes were extra books and tea towels this time.

I will run another competition before too long, as it is fun, helps me, and I have found a few more sample bits and pieces lying around the place. I will send an email to my newsletter mailing list announcing the next one, so join that if you want to hear about it.

Any additional ideas are always welcomed – just send me an email. I always try to reply to ideas emails, and I will send you the cartoon if you send me an idea I can use.

The picture above is supposed to represent competitive pursuits, by the way. Pew-hurdling was not in any way a part of this competition.

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Cartoon giveaway


It is January, which seems like a good time to give some things away. So here is some cartoon memorabilia which could be yours:


1) One copy of the Dave Walker 2016 calendar containing 12 of my best church-themed cartoons. This is still available from Church House Bookshop if you didn’t manage to get one, and if it hasn’t been reduced in price it will be reduced shortly [Update: £4.99, free UK postage today, Thursday 28th].

2) Two prizes of one pre-production church cartoon mug. Mugs are still very available from Eve2 Media, but these are samples and at the time of writing the only ones of these designs to exist, and therefore unique. The cartoons are: Mug A, Ordination, Mug B, The best ways to escape.

3) Six prizes of one ‘Bicycles – why you might need more than onetea towel, but please note that these are slight seconds. By this I mean they have minor marks on them which meant I couldn’t sell them, but the marks really are not particularly noticeable. One or two might be printed over a small crease. You’d soon get marks like this anyway in the rough and tumble of the drying-up world.

4) Two prizes of a signed copy of one of my books. If you win one of these I’ll give you a choice of book from the ones I have in stock, and I’ll write a dedication to someone else if you’d like me to. [Aside: my books have free UK postage from Church House Bookshop today, Thursday 28th.]

5) One pre-production sample ‘20 reasons to love cyclingtote bag. The image is legible, but a bit smaller than is ideal, so perfect for those who don’t want anyone to read their tote bag. This is a unique item – these haven’t ever been produced.

Plus… I may add a mystery prize or two. I haven’t decided what this/these is/are yet. Possibly just some junk lying around my office. But I’ll ask you first before sending a box of 25 defunct cables.

How to enter:

  1. Post either a cycling cartoon idea, a church cartoon idea, or any other cartoon idea in the comments below. (It must be on this site, not on social media). Ideas can be a topic you’d like me to cover, or something more finished with descriptions of pictures, etc. Ideas don’t have to be any good.
  2. If you have a prize preference please list the prize numbers in order of preference at the end of your comment, missing out any prizes you don’t want. For example, (3,4,5,2) if you love tea towels, but despise calendars.


  • I can change the rules
  • Entires must be made here and not on Facebook/Twitter. Reason: I use a random number generator to choose the winners, and that really only works if all answers are in the same place and not scattered here/there/everywhere. It is also difficult to print tweets out for reference.
  • Prize-winners will be chosen at random from all entries given. I will contact you to ask for a postal address.
  • I reserve the right to use any of the ideas given. When people send me an idea that I use I try to send them an image file of the cartoon, but I sometimes forget.

Closing date: 10pm UK time, Thursday 28 January 2016. I’ll post a list of winners the following day.

If entries don’t appear straight away it is because comments by new commenters are moderated.

Thanks in advance for all ideas given. Ideas sent to me via competitions like this or just via email at other times are always appreciated and make it possible for me to keep this cartooning thing going.

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How to read in church


This is a category of cartoons entitled ‘vaguely humorous, but also possibly slightly useful’ in that the advice given is intended to be actually valid.

You can find the cartoon here on Reading the lesson, or in the book, ‘Heroes of the Coffee Rota‘.

On the subject of reading in church, a reader on Twitter kindly offered the following advice from c1950.

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Choir cartoon: Minor misdemeanours, etc

Choir cartoon

Happy New Year (belated) everyone.

I’m back on the blog, and contrary to appearances have great things planned for the blog in 2016. Well, that’s the plan anyway.

To kick things off here’s a new-to-the-internet addition to The Choir. You can find it here if you’d like to use it in your church magazine and suchlike.

Coming very soon: a competition and cartoon memorabilia giveaway! (Exclamation mark intentional)

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Mug: Keeping order


This is the final week for ordering CartoonChurch mugs from Eve2 Media if you’d like them before Christmas. You can see and order the full range here: Cartoon mugs.

This mug has been the joint-second-most-popular despite the fact I haven’t posted it anywhere. You can find it on here: Keeping order.

In other mug news: the ‘I’m a Coffee Rota Hero’ Mug is available on its own or as part of a Church Times subscription offer along with the book.

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